Friday, September 25, 2009

The art of loss...

About 14 days after my grandmother passed away my mother died. She died suddenly and at this time the cause is unknown. In a moment I went from stressed out at the thought of my mom living with me to numb at the thought of planning her funeral and packing away her life.

I have noticed a couple of things with this loss. One is that some people suck at offering condolences. My mother's doctor told me that my mother's spirit would come back to haunt me. My landlord told me to remove every picture from the walls for one year. The day her body was found the police chaplain told me not to feel guilt, because she was dead and there was nothing I could do about it. Not. Helpful.

The second thing I have noticed are the blessings that come from loss. I have gotten an outpouring of support from my family and friends, and this process has help me to learn how to ask and receive help. I will forever be grateful to those who have helped me. I am very blessed.

My mother and I were very different in many ways, but she loved me to the best of her ability and l loved her to the best of mine. I wish her life could have been easier and happier, but I find solace in knowing that she is in a better place. My mother will live on in all the acts of kindness she showed to those she loved. My mother was always so afraid of being insignificant, and this week has showed me, and hopefully her, how very much she was loved.


Anonymous said...

I will tell you that your mom taught you how to love with your WHOLE heart. The world will forever be a better place for that. You are a kind and beautiful any mother would be proud of. lovelove,

Lorelai said...