"Afraid what you're gonna do, in this phase you're going through." Chosen One by One Eskimo
I spent the evening with a friend's 16 year old daughter. She sees her dads every other weekend, and while visiting I am her lifeline to the female perspective (because of the gay dads). She is also someone who could be my daughter. She's a little awkward, overweight, and she overcompensates by being everything to everyone. Sometimes it's like watching a train wreck. Sometimes it's like talking to the girl I was.
And tonight she was 16, feeling less than other girls, and sad not to have the boy she wanted.
For her and (for myself) I said this:
Your life now will not always be the same. Things will change and hopefully for the better. The very act of change will make some things better.
You deserved to be valued, appreciated, and loved.
You should not speak poorly of yourself. People will make comments your whole life about how you can be better. Ignore that and honor all that is good in you. You do not have the right to hurt your momma's baby girl.
You will one day find a boy (or man) who sees you as you are and loves every darn thing about you.
Take care of your skin.
Boys will do and say dumb things as long as you live.
I am so proud of the person you are.
I remember being 16 and feeling less than everyone else. No one said I would be 32 still struggling. Sigh.
Friday, April 29, 2011
"I don't wanna be a doctor! I want to be a princess!" ---My sobbing niece at 4 years old
True story: When my niece was 4 a very nice lady told her: "I hope you become a doctor someday." This is apparently a blessing Arab women bestow on children. My niece was having none of that. She burst into tears, and the above was her reply. When my sis told me I burst out laughing because there are times I would much rather be a princess than a doctor.
I did not think I would get caught up in the royal wedding drama. All week long I have been watching snippets on the news, but not really caring about it either way. Then tonight I couldn't sleep. I honestly felt like I was missing something if I tried to sleep. Part of this is due to the fact that I am a wedding whore. I love weddings. Every thing about them is fun to me. Except the tanning some brides do (side note: I am on week 2 of the summer tan-a-thon and barely kept myself from running topless from my coffin a few days ago, But I lasted 9 minutes this time so there's hope I won't be blindingly pale for vacation). I just love the pomp and circumstance and the tradition.
Did I also mention I love to read romance novels?
Apparently these two parts of my personality have created the perfect storm. I am sitting here at 2am anxiously awaiting the wedding. It is a fairy tale that someone can wake up a "commoner" and by lunch be a princess. I am pretty sure this will give my niece hope that she won't have to become a doctor to be successful. I keep thinking of my niece tonight, and the thought of how different life would be as a princess. Somethings may be easier or fun, but even if I was promised a 65 million dollar wedding (apparently how much Charles and Camilla paid) I don't think I could do it. I love my privacy, and I think it should be okay to punch someone trying to take a pic of my underwear as I leave a car. But if there are any Dukes out there looking for a good time I am pretty sure I could be a Duchess.
I hope Kate and Wills are happy. I hope that they are able to lead a life full of joy and love. I hope that I don't fall asleep at work tomorrow.
True story: When my niece was 4 a very nice lady told her: "I hope you become a doctor someday." This is apparently a blessing Arab women bestow on children. My niece was having none of that. She burst into tears, and the above was her reply. When my sis told me I burst out laughing because there are times I would much rather be a princess than a doctor.
I did not think I would get caught up in the royal wedding drama. All week long I have been watching snippets on the news, but not really caring about it either way. Then tonight I couldn't sleep. I honestly felt like I was missing something if I tried to sleep. Part of this is due to the fact that I am a wedding whore. I love weddings. Every thing about them is fun to me. Except the tanning some brides do (side note: I am on week 2 of the summer tan-a-thon and barely kept myself from running topless from my coffin a few days ago, But I lasted 9 minutes this time so there's hope I won't be blindingly pale for vacation). I just love the pomp and circumstance and the tradition.
Did I also mention I love to read romance novels?
Apparently these two parts of my personality have created the perfect storm. I am sitting here at 2am anxiously awaiting the wedding. It is a fairy tale that someone can wake up a "commoner" and by lunch be a princess. I am pretty sure this will give my niece hope that she won't have to become a doctor to be successful. I keep thinking of my niece tonight, and the thought of how different life would be as a princess. Somethings may be easier or fun, but even if I was promised a 65 million dollar wedding (apparently how much Charles and Camilla paid) I don't think I could do it. I love my privacy, and I think it should be okay to punch someone trying to take a pic of my underwear as I leave a car. But if there are any Dukes out there looking for a good time I am pretty sure I could be a Duchess.
I hope Kate and Wills are happy. I hope that they are able to lead a life full of joy and love. I hope that I don't fall asleep at work tomorrow.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
The things you learn about yourself...
Tonight was the first time I have ever used a tanning bed, and in some ways it was the longest 7 minutes of my life. I was told it would be warm and relaxing. From the moment I put the lid down and the eye goggles on I had to tell myself I was not in an oven coffin. I am not usually a claustrophobic person so this was something new I learned about me (yay for that moment of self awareness). I took deep breathes, I repeatedly told myself I was safe, and I focused on not screaming for help or ripping the goggles from my eyes. Thankfully all my psych tricks worked, and the timer went off smoothly.
The whole reason to enter the death trap is for an upcoming vacation to the Caribbean. My poor body doesn't see a lot of sun naturally, so I have to prepare to spend a week at a beach.
I have to go back 9 times. I am hoping the deep breathing gets easier. And I hope I don't come away looking Snooki-ish.
What did you learn about yourself today?
Tonight was the first time I have ever used a tanning bed, and in some ways it was the longest 7 minutes of my life. I was told it would be warm and relaxing. From the moment I put the lid down and the eye goggles on I had to tell myself I was not in an oven coffin. I am not usually a claustrophobic person so this was something new I learned about me (yay for that moment of self awareness). I took deep breathes, I repeatedly told myself I was safe, and I focused on not screaming for help or ripping the goggles from my eyes. Thankfully all my psych tricks worked, and the timer went off smoothly.
The whole reason to enter the death trap is for an upcoming vacation to the Caribbean. My poor body doesn't see a lot of sun naturally, so I have to prepare to spend a week at a beach.
I have to go back 9 times. I am hoping the deep breathing gets easier. And I hope I don't come away looking Snooki-ish.
What did you learn about yourself today?
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