Another day of learning new things about myself...

The good:
*I can make an incredible sugar scrub that smells like macaroons. I like smelling like cookies.

*I can force myself to stay awake at work while drugged out on muscle relaxers and ibuprofen.

*I have sweet coworkers who will drive me to Sonic because I took said medications. Diet Dr. pepper with diet cherry flavoring is my fave.

*I have lost 9 lbs going low fat/no carb.

*I found a low fat sugar free ice cream. And I did not eat the whole thing in one sitting.

*My pretty new luggage should be arriving tomorrow.

The challenging:
*I cannot actually work while drugged out on muscle relaxers and ibuprofen. I just shuffle papers around and try not to slump over at my desk drooling. I sent emails out to people and tomorrow I will recheck them to see if they made sense.

*I have 6 weeks until I go on a Caribbean vacation and my body is still pasty, my arms are still jiggly like a lunch lady, and my tummy still looks like I should have interesting birthing stories. And I can't really do anything about my arms or tummy because I pulled a muscle in my neck and shoulder area this weekend. Hence my current medication regime.

*No matter how old I get or how drugged I am, it is hard to let go of negative things people say about me.

*I cannot cook a steak medium rare. But if you want a tough, chewy overly well done steak, then call me and I will share my secrets.

What I Wanted To Say...

Over the last two weeks I had all these great things to blog about. The rest of my trip, the movies I have seen (please go see Juno and Once), and the joys of being polite in Borders. It was all going to be hilarious I'm sure, but aside from Arabic lessons and great food, my darling nieces also gave me their illness. Just my annual holiday sick making it's appearance. I am feeling better now, but am still really tired. The funny will have to wait until I can laugh with out coughing up a hairball.

A Blog Before the Read-A-Thon Begins

Since I fully anticipate spending this weekend reading Harry Potter I thought I would blog now. I found someone (who has kids no less) to go with to the Borders Party. I still feel vaguely Chester Molester, but I want the book. And I have worked out my gym schedule to have maximum reading time (basically I will only use the bike). I am a little obsessed with this series.

I forgot to mention yesterday two things that stuck out. First Disease of the Week made a come back. I had a client cancel and explain to me in great detail the massive diarrhea they have experienced (and all the places it occurred). All I could say was thanks for calling and I appreciate the consideration of choosing not to come in. Ending the call I felt a little gross.

The next event occurred at my aunts house when I traveled last night to give my mom the song lyrics. My great aunt (who is 62) was telling me about how she has been laying out in the sun. First she lifted her shirt to show me how her stomach is tan, and then she dropped her pants to show me her thong line. And she wasn't wearing underwear, so basically my aunt mooned me. I didn't know what to say so I think all I said was good for her, and went back to eating my chicken taco. I tried not to look her way for the rest of the night. I walked away glad she did flash her boobs or her vajayjay.

Have a great weekend all.

Of Course

There was no other way this week could end. Beyond the files threatening to overtake my desk, and the fact that I forgot to brush my hair or wear deodorant today, the real fun was the last meeting I attended. Someone said (more than once) "I have a bite on my arm, and it itches really bad." Everyone looked at the bites (there were a few on the arms and legs) and then I heard, "I don't think those are bug bites, I think that is Chicken Pox." I couldn't have said it better. And I would just like to say welcome back Disease Of The Week. You have been sorely missed.

Tomorrow I will be attending a birthday dinner that may go great, or may be the most awkward mean the Olive Garden has ever witnessed. After facing down this work week I am no longer worried. But I do need to go wrap my gift. Good night all.