I Survived (But I Did Have A Drink The Night I Came Home)...,

My weekend with my mom went better than I expected. I wouldn't call it the best of my life, but I got through it and had fun. To be totally honest it was an eye opening weekend for me. The things I was expecting (like for her to become totally stuck in the past or have severe hallucinations) did not happen. Instead it was like we switched roles. I felt like it was my job to watch out for her and be the grownup.

Some highlights included:

*My mother stopping on the street or any other public place to count the money in her wallet. She would actually pull the money out to do this. How we weren't mugged is beyond me.

*She would also become best friends with total strangers and would proceed to tell them her political/religious/food/cigarette preferences. Then she would try and draw me into the conversation. I am a fairly stranger=danger type person so I would simply smile and walk a few feet away until she was done.

*She burped at me about every 10 minutes. Mostly when we were in the car or in the hotel room, but in public too. The night she ate lobster and crab I almost pulled a Linda Blair. It was like being around my brother when he was 12 (minus the spit wads he would throw at me).

*On our last day she walked in to an antique shop and proceeded to break a lamp worth about a grand. She had a panic attack, but the owner said she wasn't responsible for damages (the lamp has been previously broken and repaired). My mom then told the owner she would buy something (but since she didn't have enough money I got to buy a small perfume bottle for 100.00. Which was a total rip off in my book, but I don't know bottles). In a way this was karma biting me in the ass because the day before I was holding on to a necklace for my mom and it slipped out of my purse somehow (and yes it cost around 100.00).

*Our hotel room was something out of a scary movie (thanks Orbitz). There was mold all over the ceiling in the bathroom. The door to our room looked like someone tried to claw their way out. and the bedroom area smelled like pine sol and funk. I imagine the person who stayed before us died, and the maid thought pine sol would cover the smell of death.

*She has also become really prejudiced towards others. I never noticed this before but when she saw someone she didn't like (Hispanic, Black, old people, Harley riders, teenagers) she would make a mean comment. Out loud. And the people were usually about a foot away from her every time. A little awkward. In my mind she was the female Archie Bunker. Surprisingly, she was okay with a lesbian couple she saw. She told me she thought it was neat that they could be open. At least she likes someone.

*I realized how tense I am when I am around her. Don't get me wrong, I think it is understandable to a point (especially since I never know what her reaction is to any given situation), but I don't want to spend the rest of my life being reserved and tense. Especially since mom spent most of the weekend talking about how I would eventually be like her and my g-ma (which translated to angry and bitter in her mind). When she would say such things I would pull a Whitney Houston in my head ("Oh Hell To The No!").

While we were going home she seemed to revert back to her hallucinations. It was painful when she spent a great deal of time talking to me about the cars that are following her and the people who harass her. I tried to get her to seek a new psychiatrist, but she told me she can't take those meds and she doesn't need them anyway (because she is not hallucinating). Until she gets so bad she needs to be hospitalized it is out of my hands, so I turned up my music a little louder and tried to think of other things.

After I dropped her at her house I went to the store and bought booze. I had a drink to celebrate getting through the weekend relatively unscathed. I then went out to dinner with friends.