Please Don't Do This. 4Real.

A friend just sent this to me. I really hope the baby doesn't end up with this name. Can you imagine the teasing he will take for the rest of his life. What's the wackiest baby name you have heard of? For me it would be Meconium (although I am still hoping this was an urban legend).

Dear John...

Must be my week to catch all the fun articles . The short of this one is John Travolta agrees with Tom Cruise (although he would have handled it differently so he's okay), and blames all the school shootings on psychotropic medicines.

Hi John, I'm Lorelai. Thanks for sharing your opinion. Now let me tell you about me and my job. I have been working my ass off for the last 10 years to graduate with a doctorate in psychology. My emphasis is in child psyhcology. I work with the kids who have been kicked out of preschools, play dates, and recreational programs. They have smeared their shit, cut themselves, and hurt others. I work with families who are overwhelmed and frustrated. I work with kids who have faced more abuse and trauma in their young lives than I have faced in almost 30 years. Do I think that sometimes kids are over-medicated? Hell yes I do. I do not recommend meds as a first option for any child. There are foods and parent tools I always recommend first. Therapy is another first option. Have I ever seen a child who is so ill that medicine is an option. Hell yes I have. And I have seen many adults who benefit from medicine. I also have a mother who believes that she is followed by gangs, and her cell phone and her computer are full of devices that watch her and taunt her. When her hallucinations are particularly bad she will put black screening material up to keep the bad guys from seeing her and trying to hurt her. I look at my mother and I wish she would take medication. Maybe then she would have some sort of a quality to her life.

Tell me John, did your wife ever feel so dark after giving birth to your two beautiful kids that she contemplated killing your babies? I really hope she didn't, but many women feel this way (or some sort of PPD) and I don't care what your feelings are, you don't get to judge people who seek help. They are not weak for using meds. In fact they are some of the strongest damn people I know.

I am glad you're a night owl, guess what I am too. But have you ever stayed up all night because if you closed your eyes the hallucinations would become so bad the only way to stop them was to kill yourself? Talk to someone who has, and tell them they are wrong for seeking medical treatment.

Let's talk about psychotropic medications causing school shootings. First off, the medical and mental health records of the V-Tech killer are not released so how do you know he was on psychotropic meds? It was believed that he didn't attend the counseling he was ordered to, so I find it hard to believe that he would be med compliant. As for the other shooters, some were one meds and some weren't, so let's get this out of the way, meds don't cause shooters. They may be a factor, the same way the family, school, peer group, and self are factors.

Do we need gun control? I think we do. Do we need to know more about psychotropic meds? Yes we do especially those we give to kids. But we also need better access to mental health, and we need to remove the stigma that comes with mental illness. But I don't think you'll help me with this. That's okay, I can work on it without you or Tom's help.

I am happy you are blessed to have a wonderful family and a supportive religion. You're right to think that everyone should be able to voice their opinion. Here's my opinion: I think yours sucks. It is full of faulty logic and a lack of compassion for a group of people who are already feeling isolated and overwhelmed. The saddest part of all of this is that you have power because of your fame. And while many will read your article and think of you as a pompous jackass, for some your words will keep them from seeking treatment.

Wow this really pissed me off. Jumping off my pedestal now. Peace out.

Speed It Up Padre!


I just read this article . I love when psychology and the law come together. I hope the judge also ordered the man to complete counseling.


And just in case you were wondering what the Vatican thought about road rage check out this article I know I struggle on a daily basis not to hate slow and stupid drivers. I wonder if the pope has ever yelled at someone who cut him off? I bet you get a double sin if you yell at the pope mobile (you know that thing goes 20 tops).

Mom shaved her legs, someone got punched in a bathroom, and a conversation with mall security. All this and more in Weekend Recap.

After my dad's b-day dinner we went to this department store to find something for my g-pa for father's day. This is a nice store, upscale like Nordstroms. We got in just before closing. I found my g-pa golf shirts, and my friend found something to wear for a wedding she was attending the next day. Her mom and my dad were hanging out waiting for us to finish. Her mom used the restroom and could hear several girls who sounded drunk. She found us waiting in line to pay. She explained what she heard then stated she was going to find a manager. My friend said she wanted to see what was happening and walked in. About a minute later 3 young girls (like 16 or so) stumble out. They say something about someone getting hit and walk away. We walk into the bathroom and my friend is holding a paper towel to her lip and stated she was punched when she told them to quiet down.

The cashier called the manager. The manager called the mall cops. The mall cops came and did nothing. We found one of the girls--her friends ditched her. She started off acting tough but by the end of the night she was crying and wanting to go home (we broke her with kindness). My friend's mom paid for a cab to take her home. Standing there listen to my friend and this young girl talk, I once again realized how sheltered my life is. I have never been in a bathroom brawl, or been so drunk/high I felt like I could take anyone on. I was also never allowed to dress like a prostitute when I left the house. I thought about that girl this weekend and I hope she is okay. I also hope the swelling went down in my friend's lip in time for the wedding she attended.

I also had father's day activities all day on Sunday. Beginning with my mom's side. We had a luncheon for my g-pa and it began was with my mom talking about shaving her legs in honor of the occasion. I wasn't sure how to respond to that so I ignored it. She also mentioned wanting to get a hummingbird tattoo. Again I ignored this. Lastly she brought out pictures of the fam. Some dating back to me in junior high. Those were not good years for me. I came to the realization that my mom is a crappy picture taker, but only in pictures she takes of me. If I am talking or making an awful face she was there. I love candids as much as the next person, but I like there to still be prettiness in the candid. One picture was so close of me you could see my nose pores. And it looked like my eyes were crossed. I took the pics with me to be destroyed. If I hadn't they would have ended up on my wedding cake. Thanks mom.

I also saw Ocean's 13 and hand my first mojito (or half of one). All in all it was an entertaining weekend. Next weekend is more family events, so I am sure there will be more stories.

A Post About My Father

Friday my dad turned 55. Getting through this year has been one of the most stressful things I have ever done. My dad is perfectly healthy (although he is an occasional chain smoker), and the worst thing he had was the flu this winter. Even knowing this I have been terrified waiting for this day to come. Dad has a unique family history. His father and his father's father both died at 54. He has older siblings (none of whom died in their 54th year), and one told him he wouldn't know scared until he turned 54. But my dad is funny in that he would be okay with dying. Not to say he's suicidal, merely that he has lived a good life and he has no major regrets. I don't know if he has been worried at all this year, meanwhile I have been stress eating like a fiend for the last 3 weeks.

I am glad my dad is in a place of acceptance for what ever comes. I am so not there yet. I want him around for at least 55 more years. He needs to terrorize my future husband and make me laugh as we walk down the aisle. He needs to take my children to the ranch (or the gym/bagel shop) and teach them all about the things he loves (the gym/bagel shop/PBS). He needs to be there to talk with me and comfort me when my mother is falling apart. I need one stable parent.

I really did score getting him for a dad. He is amazingly supportive of his kids, as well anyone he meets. Just today I had two friends tell me they wished he was their dad.

One of my favorite dad memories happened when I was a sophomore in high school. I was sitting in class when a voice came over the speaker and told me my dad was picking me up for lunch. I thought I was the shit getting to miss cafeteria food. When I got to the car my brother was also there, and to be honest I was a little confused. My dad was not a pick you up take you to lunch guy. At first I thought someone died and he was trying to soften the blow with a milk shake (which is what he did when our dog died). Instead of McDonald's or Carl's Jr he took us to a homeless shelter. As we pulled up he talked to us about how important it was to help others. He knew the directer of the shelter, and so for lunch that day we served mashed potatoes and some meat with gravy. I remember thinking in that moment he was the coolest guy ever.

In recent years something I have treasured was going with him to see Paul McCartney. Dad is a big Beatles fan. As a child he used to tell me all about the stories behind the songs. He was so excited when we were old enough to fully appreciate "Let It Be." For as much as he loved the Beatles he never had the chance to see them in person. Over a year ago Paul went on tour and my dad and I drove 3 hours to see him. I sat next to him and cried as Paul sang all the songs that mean the most to my dad. I told him that I was crying because of Paul, but really it was because I knew how special that night was. There are moments in my life that I know are special even as I am experiencing them and that one. The plan was to stay in a hotel after the concert, but my dad was so jazzed up after the concert that he drove straight home talking about how great all the songs were. I tried to sleep as songs ran through my head.

On Friday night at dinner we reminisced about all the stories that come up when families are together. We laughed about his love for instant coffee and Seinfeld. And then he began singing "Happy Birthday" to himself when the cake came -- before anyone else was ready to sing, and even when we all joined in his voice was still the loudest.

Just so you don't think he is a paragon of virtue I should tell you he is basically a big ball of republicanism (who says he's "independent", but I call him on his voting record for the past 20 years). Since I am a big old Democrat this can lead to all sorts of fun debates. Last week he told me he wondered if global warming even existed. Sometimes I wonder if he says this stuff just so we'll argue. I can't wait for the presidential elections. He is also a workaholic who doesn't want to trouble others, so he does everything himself.

In honor of his birthday and Father's day I dedicate this post to my dad. Thanks for everthing you do, and here is to 55 more years of memories.

Dear God, Please Let Me Be Hormonal

Because I kid you not, I cried during the first 10 minutes of the season finale of One Tree Hill. In my defense (weak that it is), someone was dying and someone was giving birth (and the dying person went to the other side and saw the love of her life-I should stop now because this is not making it better) . Also in my defense I laughed during the rest of it, especially when one of the moms told her son to go to a crazy party and have fun while she watched his kid. Sweet.

I also laughed during the new show, Creature Comforts. Check it out if you haven't already.

Suck This AARP

As I was looking through my mail I saw a post card to join AARP. My friend who was on the phone when I read this vile piece of junk mail heard my gasp of dismay and thought it was pretty funny. Maybe I will sign her up for AARP. She does have a b-day coming up.

Thing That Creeps Me Out #156

Getting a call from my home phone when I am at work. Luckily, it was just my mother calling me to let me know she brought food over, and not the neighborhood robber wondering where I keep the good china (I have no good china in case you wondered, but if you want old tea cup plates come on over.)

Why my plan to blog was waylaid by a man and his love of a horse...


Last night my intent was to blog, and I even signed in to blogger. But WifeSwap was on and I swear to you one of the wives said, "Dan has a deep and intimate love for his horse." I was hooked. It really did live up to my expectations of fine programming. One wife got yelled at for not washing the horse to Dan's standards (she wasn't close enough with the hose to the horse's behind--not being a horse lover I wonder if that really make a difference?) The cowboy wife yelled at the "house honey" a.k.a. the other dad, for basically being a wimp and not being a "manly man." He cried at that, he showed her all the jewelry his wife buys him, then he said, "I am vacuuming and I don't care what she thinks." For the rule change she bought him manly clothes--a cowboy hat and a shirt with fringe. He still kept his jewelry on.

I don't know why, but this show gets me every week. I love how surprised the families are at the rule change, and how crazy everyone gets thinking their way is the only way. There was only one episode I have never been able to watch, and that involved a family who ate raw, rotting meat. I vurp thinking about it.

Speaking of T.V., my dream last night included the cast of One Tree Hill. Yes, I watch a teen soap opera. But in my defense I watch it with my teenage cousin, and I try to impart my wisdom on her (like don't shoot other kids, don't get pregnant in high school, and don't cheat on math finals). That really doesn't make it better. I think I dreamt of the season finale. Hopefully my brain is not trying to tell me I watch too much T.V. Supermommy's son once included the characters of Caillou in his prayers and she took that as a sign he needed more play dates with real kids.

Confessions of an Almost Docling...

I can't believe it's been almost a month since my last post. In that time I have almost graduated (I walked, but it's not official till I finish my internship), almost found a job for next year (still trying to decide between two places), and I almost had a vacation (more than spending 3 days on my couch watching soaps).

I have lots to write and no time at work to fully say it all. I will leave you leave you with a little something my best friend's daughter (who is 3) said when someone hoped she would become a doctor one day. Through her sobbing tears she was able to tell her mother that she didn't want to be a doctor, she wanted to be a princess. Now that I am almost grown up I can sympathize.