Some fun things I learned this weekend


Mapquest hates me. Instead of sending me to Macy's in another town, I ended up at the county jail. Then I traveled to the local college. The staff of Macy's eagerly helped when I finally decided to chuck the mapquest directions out the window. And they didn't call me an idiot for calling back 3 times to confirm I was going the right way (at least not to my face but I'm sure they laughed like hell when I hung up the phone).

Apparently the way to win the war in Iraq is to air drop copies of Penthouse and Playboy into Iraq ("to liberate the oppressed Muslims"). This gem came from this really obnoxious guy I met on Saturday. I also learned that you look like an a-hole when you spend dinner talking about how much money you have then short change the dinner bill (I think he made his money stiffing dinner bills). Sadly I also learned that someone actually married him. Sorry ladies, he's taken.

I think my dad is sending me to Ireland as a graduation present. I am still stunned. He also agreed to have a dinner at his house for 60 people (in honor of my graduation). My father hasn't had anyone over for dinner since 1988 (I remember because there was a presidential election occurring and we watched a news program about it). I think I am more surprised by the dinner than by the trip.

Never tell a 3 year old that the toy you are giving him is not the same as the one he just took a part but it is still cool. The child will freak, his mommy will look at you like you have 2 heads, then try to undo your damage. Sorry Supermommy.

When you give the boy a 3rd toy, really talk up how cool it is and that it is bigger, and better than anything else he has ever seen. He won't believe you, but he may not complain.