I'm No Domestic Goddess, But I've Got a Kick Ass Guardian Angel

So tonight I realized the weird smell in the dishwasher was a wooden spoon that got stuck to something on the bottom. Apparently, things got really hot because the spoon was burned black in places. Thanks be it didn't catch on fire. I really don't want to be the person who dies because of improper utensil placement. Although I bet at least one of my friends would say in the eulogy, "She always said she couldn't load a dishwasher." I once thought the dishwasher was the safest appliance in my house. Now it scares me like a mirrored closet. Or one of those dolls you put in a corner. Shuddering.