Is it too late to knock on wood...


Last night when I wrote that I felt better I apparently issued a challenge to the Gods. I tossed and turned all night. When I wasn't tossing and turning I was at first praying I wouldn't throw up and then I thought, what the hell just throw up and get it over with already. I couldn't breathe easily and the achiness returned. So now I take my statement back. I feel like crap on a stick. Here's hoping it doesn't get any worse (knocking on my desk as I type this)...

Back to office...


Well after 3 days of waiting my head never did explode, so I guess I'll go back to work. My fever is gone and I no longer feel achy. I still have a head cold, but compared to how I felt yesterday this is cake. Not really looking forward to all the stuff that has piled up while I was gone though. At least I only have 2 days left till Saturday. I guess I have to go now and iron something for tomorrow. Ugh.

For those moments when you sneeze so hard you almost pee your pants....


So I have been dreaming of a Monday off. I would clean and do laundry, and maybe even work on some crafty things I have wanted to do. This would be a great day, birds would sing, I would be well rested, and the world would finally come to a peace agreement. Instead I spent my Monday taking excedrin, airborne, and praying my head would just explode already. I got a sore throat last night, and woke up every couple of hours to gargle with salt water. Real sexy I know. I went to the store this morning and bought lozenges and soup, more airborne, and kleenex.

I would just like to take a moment and thank the parent that brought their child to see me, knowing they were sick. And the co-worker who had this plague before me, and sat next to me during a training writing me notes about how he was going to begin explosively throwing up and any moment. I wrote you a note saying I didn't blame you, but I lied. You rat bastard. Did I mention I get meaner that normal when I am sick. Good times.

Did I mention the same coworker (the rat bastard) wrote me back and said the length of this bug was about 2 weeks. You get sick, feel better, and then get sick again. Oh hell to the no!

"Wherever they burn books they will also, in the end, burn human beings." Heinrich HEINE
Almansor: A Tragedy, 1823
Used as inscription on memorial at Dachau concentration camp
German poet (1797-1856)



"I don't want to be shut out from the truth. If they ban books, they might as well lock us away from the world." Rory Edwards, 12, Washington Post, Getting It Down at Writing Camp


Anyone who knows me even a little knows how much I love to read. That is why this week is important to me. This is Banned Book Week and if you have a chance take a look at all the books that have been banned at one time or another. I don't know how to link yet so please go to:
www.ala.org

There was never a banned book in my house, so this concept is foreign to me. I can remember being in the 5th or 6th grade and reading the "Flowers in the Attic" series. My father once asked me about what I was reading, so I told him the story of this incestuous brother and sister, and how much they loved each other (I may have even teared up, I was kind of a weird kid). Don't get me wrong he looked at me like I was crazy, but he never told me I couldn't read them. He simply took me to the library when I was done, to get more books. I also feel kinda cool knowing I have read so many banned books.

***The quote I used for the title I read at the place where they burned books in Nazi Germany in the 1930's. It it across from Humboldt University in Berlin. Tquoteute is on a plaque on the ground, and next to it is a window in the ground that shows row after row of empty bookcases. The bookcases represent all the books that were burned during this time. ****

Can't wait for tonight at 9:00!

The new season of Grey's Anatomy will begin. I am so excited!

Love to eat. Hate to cook.


So tonight what I should have done was stop by the closest restaurant and pick something up.





What I did was go grocery shopping.

And when I got home the ghost of dinners future was warning me to just have a bowl of cereal.




My inner chef even tried to make a good frozen dinner. I said, "no way I am going to cook something I love and have made a thousand times." It was the same damn thing I made yesterday. Tonight it was horrible! The salmon tasted like the inside of a 70 year old smoker's mouth, and the frozen spinach tasted like soap.


I am vurping thinking about it. Then I tried to make a pie, and fucked that up too. I have never seen lumpy jello until tonight, but it tasted alright. Better than the salmon and spinach. It will be a while before I try that combo again. A very long time. I am going to go brush my teeth now. I really hate cooking.

I can't sleep...

I have to wake up a hour earlier than normal, so this is really not a good time to have energy. I figured since I can't sleep I might as well blog.

I went to a film festival this weekend and it was so much fun. I saw movies that I probably would never have seen otherwise, and I got to hang out with my friends which is always great.

One game my friends and I have is to think up words we really like (I'll be the first to admit we are big ol' dorks). Usually I suck at this game, but it's fun hearing their choices. Well ladies and gents I have my word.

Two of the movies I saw used the word "verboten" and I realized how much I love this word. I don't usually use this word in my daily life, but now I feel challenged to bring it into my conversations. And I challenge anyone reading this to try and use this word too. And think up any words you really like, but maybe don't use in every day talk.

I am also in the process of fixing up my living room and I recently used a wall to hang up some of my favorite pictures. I think it looks really good and I keep walking into the living room and turning on the lights so I can see it. Like I said big ol' dork.

Oh Hell to the No...



So my brother called tonight and asked me what medications are good for bipolar. I asked why (stupid stupid stupid I know). And he said he thinks he has this and wants to know what meds to take. I said it depended on his diagnosis and asked if he had insurance. He said no and he wasn't going to get it, that he doesn't want a record of his mental health issues, so he'd get someone to get him meds with no record (yeah we call that illegal). I have been talking to him for the last thirty minutes trying to convince him to get a psychological eval through proper legal channels. He is now trying to convince me that every member of my family is bipolar (except for me and maybe our dad, the jury is still out on him) and that's how he knows he's bipolar. Wait I think there is a breakthough. He actually said he would listen to me, because I knew what I was talking about. What the hell? I think my brother has multiple personality disorder because the person who just hung up the phone was sure as hell not my bro. WOW. I am in shock I am also trying to clean before my cleaning lady comes tomorrow. I hate cleaning for the cleaning lady.

Oh and I forgot to talk about my fav celebrity couple. Bobbie Brown and Whitney Houston are calling it quits. Who will I make fun of now?? I would just like to take a minute to thank Whitney for my favorite saying. Oh hell to the no!

Can Parakeets commit suicide???

So my mother has birds. 4 parakeets to be exact. And she loves them. A lot. She has already lost 2 and is can't stand the thought of losing another. We were talking tonight and she was telling me that one of the birds keeps dropping off her perch onto the floor, and once even got her self hung up in some rope. She is telling me this and laughing about what a clown this bird is, and I am thinking "OMG it's trying to kill itself." I mean c'mon if I lived in a small cage with 3 other things and a lady kept trying to pet me, yeah I think I'd jump. I am just hoping this little jumper waits a while before she dies.

The good news of this week....




I forgot to mention that when I started this blog I sent an email to Anne Taintor, who is one of my favorite artists, and asked if I could use a picture in my blog. Well Christina wrote back and said I could! Yeah for me. Thanks Anne Taintor! I think it will be too small on the profile picture, so I would like to add it to the header. I would also like to be able to link it to Anne Taintor's website. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know. If you want to check out the website head over to www.annetaintor.com

3 things I heard today at work....

"Wow, you match today- even your shoes match!" Since I am very proud of my shoes I am going to take this comment as a compliment. A compliment from a socially inept person. And for the record, I match every day dammit.

"We have to stroke the files" Hands making stroking movements as this is being said.

"Group grope." Unfortunately this is a lot less fun than it implies.

Needless to say the staff meeting was a lot of fun today. Two hours of migraine inducing fun.

The price of one Chinese dinner and a to-go bag of grapes and bad chicken: $8,000...

So earlier this morning I filled out a questionnaire about relationships. One of the questions asked how well you are able to say no to family requests. That it stuck in my mind should have been a warning...

My mother called me on my lunch break, and stated she had a quick question. She found a truck she wants to buy and could she put it in my name (and list her and grandma as the drivers). WTF?!? I wanted to ask why but I needed to get off the phone. I know that any question involves a long answer. I tried to redirect. I told her my credit was not good thanks to the large amount of student loans I have. Well, the slimy MF'ing car salesman was right beside her and said, "Not a problem! We can work around that!" [Comment to the car salesman: How about you shut your pie-hole and not try to make a commission off a shady deal? Hmm, could you do that?]

Did I say no to my mother? No, I did not. Because I'd rather suck it up and avoid the hell that my saying no would cause. Being that this is my mother, and she has done this to me before, I am a little happy she asked me first. Maybe I can have some control over the situation (it's a futile attempt I know). Last, but not least, I did not say no because I am a wimp who will avoid confrontation right up the bitter end. I knew dinner last night was too good to be true. Even bad chicken has a price. I am sure there is more to come with this story…

El Pollo Loco...

Tonight I had dinner with my mother and grandmother. I was kind of nervous because I never know what kind of a mood my mother will be in. Before I even arrived she thought I had died. Apparently she tried to call me today to confirm plans, and when I didn't answer my cell phone she assumed I was desd. No joke, she really thought I was lying dead in a morgue somewhere. We talked before I arrived, and it went okay. I am glad I didn't just arrive because she might have had a heart attack thinking I was a zombie (my mother reads a lot of horror stories and has a weak grasp on reality).

Surprisingly enough dinner went well. I would go so far as to call it nice. As I was leaving my grandmother made me a to-go bag of food. My grandmother is constantly worried that I am in dire need of boxed rice dishes. So she says, "I have chicken would you like it?" I respond with, "Sure, so long as I can freeze it (I hate to cook so I put it off for as long as possible)." To which she tells me the story of the chicken.


Apparently she got it from a neighbor. She says, "He's given us chicken before and it was..." And then she made the face of someone with food poisoning, and did this thing with her hands that let me know that this chicken fought against the dying of the light. My grandmother, the woman who I thought loved me beyond anything, gave me bad chicken! So I smiled as I took it from her, said thank you, and hugged her. It may be my last hug if I eat that god-forsaken frozen meat, so I made it count. I need to go now and throw away el pollo el muerto. Remind me to tell you one day about the casserole...

True Story...
As if I didn't already need a reason to start this blog. My brother calls me today and his girlfriend gets on the phone to say hi. As we are talking he says something to her and she says, "no I am not telling her-- that is gross." So like a demented person I say "tell me what?" And then she tells me. It appears that as she went to use the bathroom in his dirty apartment he came up and peed on her as she was peeing. This is my family. It is my blessing and curse. I am still eagerly awaiting the blessing part.

Long time reader first time blogger...

So I have been reading blogs for about a year now. About two weeks ago I decided to join the fun. I plan on using this as a place to vent and hopefully to laugh about the chaos in my life. One would think as a single woman (sans kids) life would be calm. Not with my family and friends. So here goes nothing.